Lanky Streak of Witch Piss.

1 May

This is what I was christened at middle school courtesy of Shane the school bully. Thanks Shane. Luckily, this name only stuck until the end of middle school but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes those horrid names that kids give other kids stick all the way into adulthood.Currently my eldest calls his little brother “Bibby”. Now, this name isn’t only used by him. It’s been adopted by his Grandparents, friends and even us….I live in fear of my son being an adult man who goes by the name of “Bibby”…..Can you imagine…?

I remember a bloke that lived locally who was known as “Tweety”  as he had a pronounced stutter similar to the cartoon bird. I worked in the local chippy as a teenager and poor Tweety came in one night clearly wanting fish and chips. This is how the exchange went : Me : ” Hiya Tweety, what can I get you?” Tweety : “F, F,F,F, F  Fuck it, I’ll have a bag of chips” (Yes, yes, I gave him a fish too). 

My cousin went to school with a bloke called “Taddy”. Why? He shit his pants on the way to a school trip to Tadcaster. Poor Taddy is never going to forget the day he crapped his pants.

ImageWhy is it,all these names we are given are either derogatory or created from our surnames e.g Wardy,Smithy etc. You don’t hear of anyone walking around called ” great tits” or “giant nob” or ” amazing linguist” do you? 

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