So far the New Year has brought with it… One tantrum from my two year old toddler and tag team shits (toddler and twenty week old baby). Tantrum involved full on meltdown in the street.This was complete with high level ear splitting screaming , foaming at the mouth and red face. Yawn. When does this shit end? I long for the days of lazy Sundays reading the papers in silence….Aforementioned tantrum was observed smugly by Boden wearing parents accompanied by their Joules wearing kids cycling past on their shiny bikes (rear kids seats attached). In my day you were deemed a pikey or a hippy if you didn’t have a car and rode a bike everywhere. Nowadays it seems it’s the middle class thing to do… I’d have been well posh back in the day….
Mrs Ward
Northern bird down south doling out her views on a myriad of topics.
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Lanky Streak of Witch Piss.
This is what I was christened at middle school courtesy of Shane the school bully. Thanks Shane. Luckily, this name only stuck until the end of middle school but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes those horrid names that kids give other kids stick all the way into adulthood.Currently my eldest calls his little brother […]
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Are you courting yet love?????
I got asked this question throughout my teenage and early adult years and quite frankly it got on my tits. Courting? Courting? Did anybody even court? Back in my day, courting in my teenage years involved getting pissed on Merrydown cider and snogging behind the bins at St Austins RC primary School. In my early […]
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Disco Granny, did someone call for Disco Granny?
“Disco Granny” was a term used back in the day when I was clubbing. It was used to describe the saddo still busting moves on the dance floor way past their sell by date. We looked upon these people with disdain,swearing we would never be so uncool. We would be understated and elegant at “their” […]
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From hero to zero and back again.
At some point in my kids lives I’ll go from hero to zero. I’ll go from being the número uno person they want to hang out with, to a rather uncool individual that doesn’t know anything and exists solely to encroach on their privacy.Cue incident at friends house yesterday..Post Nicola answering her sons mobile (it […]
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And I name thee….
Nowadays naming your child has turned into a contentious issue. This is probably due to the emergence of various quirky and made up names. When my friends have kids I tend to wait with baited breath to see whether they dole out a run of the mill name, a quirky or a downright shocker. Cue….”Don […]
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