Tag Archives: dirty linen

Facebook Dirty Laundry.

5 Jan

So, every year I make the same resolution and much to my husbands amusement I break it after about five minutes. The resolution : I WILL commit Facebook suicide. Facebook gets on my tits and yet I can’t bring myself to commit Facebook suicide. The rage is usually fuelled when I log on to find that someone is once again washing their dirty laundry in the Facebook arena. Do I really give a shit that your boyfriend/husband/ friend has done something to piss you off. Do you really need to put it out there in the public domain?

Then there are the “feel good” posters. “I love my dog, please post if you love your dog too” Yes, I love my fucking dog/child/husband/Mother but reposting a picture of a sandy beach with a sunset doesn’t mean shit. There are also the serial photograph of my child posters. “Here’s yet another photograph of my child on a swing/taking a shit/ * insert whatever activity you feel like here and I guarantee you that someone will have posted a photo of their child doing it. As much as you love your child I really don’t love it as much. Bear this in mind when you post another 500 photographs of your kid engaged in some banal activity.

We also have the Facebook boasters. These people never update their status unless it involves them posting about going on holiday.” About to board the plane to the gorgeous villa we have rented on gorgeous tropical island”. This is usually followed two days later by the obligatory cocktail in the sunset photo (taken on instagram for added ambience). Then we have the ” look at me I have mates” posters. Their status will usually start with “great night out with” – then various people they bored over a pint that night are tagged. The set that really grip my shit though are the idiots that seem to think dead people read Facebook. “R.I.P Grandma, thank you for smelling of piss and lavender. I will really miss you”. I hate to break it to you but they don’t have WIFI in heaven.

So, does all this mean I will commit Facebook suicide? Probably not, I’m too much of a nosy bitch.

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